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I want to remember tonight forever, tears and all.

Parker is unwell. He only wants me. His embrace is stronger, his grip is tighter and his head rests on his familiar – my heart.

I am remembering when Mr. Kypo and I left him for the first time in twenty months a few weeks ago and in the morning when he woke, he crawled along our bed, into my arms and his head rested on my heart. He was still. I wondered whether or not the sound that kept him company when he lived in ‘his house’ (my body) he still recognized?

Tonight even though he is very unwell he looks after me. We both face each other, and as I do to him, he moves my hair to one side. He sticks his dummy in my mouth, cups his hand around my chin and kisses me. I am completely anchored in this moment.

I whisper ‘I love you’. His eyes whisper the same words back. I hand him his dummy and he falls asleep.